Happy Pride

Congratulations to everyone who now has the freedom to marry within the 50 States..

#LOVEWINS

The Vast Abyss

During that time depression has set in horribly. It was as if I was unwelcomed, so early in the morning I left and decided to put myself in a shelter.

They sent me to The Bronx, Harlem, and Brooklyn at different shelters. I hated it, but I needed to stay there in order to keep away from what was going on with me and look for an apartment at the same time.

Living in the shelter was horrible, even though I had my own room, I had to share the bathroom and kitchen with others and it was dirty, plus it's summer time and there is no A/C, just a fan circulating the hot air back into the room.

I was desperate to leave the shelter. I had to double down on my effort to leave there and find a place.

I found several places but after I told them that I had a program (voucher) they wasn't interested and disclosing that the program is for HIV/AIDS individuals you can actually see the discomfort in their faces.

After four months of tirelessly looking day after day, I had found 2 people that are willing to help but their was a catch.

Option 1:

The place was O.k, not really far from the train station but would be $100.00 over budget which I would be responsible for and pay out of pocket. But close to where I was originally living.

Option 2:

This place was tiny, not really far from the train station, $50.00 over budget and too much sunlight.

Darkness Visible

I didn't have much money saved so I decided to apply for food stamps, but I was met with disdain and ultimately denied.

Imagine your in a situation where you practically begging for help from the government and they shut you down. Then I was having problems at home also, I was staying with my family and they was treating me worse than dog shit, I was so terrified to go home that I slept on my friend couch some days, hide out by my brother when he was at his girlfriend house and when that didn't work out I would go to the park and stay for hours and then sneak into the house.

I didn't understand why your own family in your time of need would treat you so abhorrent.

I went to apply for Public Assistance again and this time I applied in the HIV/AIDS division. They actually listed to me and was compassionate. I was successful with not only getting Food Stamps but with Cash Assistance. You wont believe how overjoyed I was!!

My employer blocked my Department of Labor application by contesting everything I said and now It would take months before I could get an outcome. But on the upside to that, Public Assistance assigned me a Case Manager and she informed me that I need to get out from where I'm living and they will help me pay my rent.

Dark Descent

I was really sick in early January, I was even hospitalized; 5 Days in ICU and 3 Days too recuperate. I was thinking OMG this is it!!! I'm gonna die!!! But by the grace of god I didn't.

After I left the hospital I was given a sick letter to stay at home for 1 Week.

I contacted my job and informed them that I would not be coming in and the hospital forwarded the letter to my job informing them that I would not be coming in, the day before I came in I was told by my employer that I should take the rest of the month off.

I was kind of elated at this gesture, because now I have more time to myself, but I didn't know that they were planning to let me go!!

I came to work in February 1st and I only worked 2 Days for and was let go with some bullshit excuse that I did something that I know I did not do, I was always told the truth will set you free, but I guess they didn't want to hear it, they only wanted to see me gone.

I packed my stuff and left..

Jekyll & Hyde-ness

I dont have a multiple personality disorder but sometimes I think some family members posesses this trait.

I have a uncle who reminds me of the theatrics of the mel gibson tapes. When I have a conversation with him I have to remain calm and if its over the phone and he's acting bonkers then I disconnect the call. But the weired thing about him is that less than 30-minutes later we'll have a conversation and he'll act like a meltdown never occured!!