Happy Pride

Congratulations to everyone who now has the freedom to marry within the 50 States..

#LOVEWINS

The Vast Abyss

During that time depression has set in horribly. It was as if I was unwelcomed, so early in the morning I left and decided to put myself in a shelter.

They sent me to The Bronx, Harlem, and Brooklyn at different shelters. I hated it, but I needed to stay there in order to keep away from what was going on with me and look for an apartment at the same time.

Living in the shelter was horrible, even though I had my own room, I had to share the bathroom and kitchen with others and it was dirty, plus it's summer time and there is no A/C, just a fan circulating the hot air back into the room.

I was desperate to leave the shelter. I had to double down on my effort to leave there and find a place.

I found several places but after I told them that I had a program (voucher) they wasn't interested and disclosing that the program is for HIV/AIDS individuals you can actually see the discomfort in their faces.

After four months of tirelessly looking day after day, I had found 2 people that are willing to help but their was a catch.

Option 1:

The place was O.k, not really far from the train station but would be $100.00 over budget which I would be responsible for and pay out of pocket. But close to where I was originally living.

Option 2:

This place was tiny, not really far from the train station, $50.00 over budget and too much sunlight.

Darkness Visible

I didn't have much money saved so I decided to apply for food stamps, but I was met with disdain and ultimately denied.

Imagine your in a situation where you practically begging for help from the government and they shut you down. Then I was having problems at home also, I was staying with my family and they was treating me worse than dog shit, I was so terrified to go home that I slept on my friend couch some days, hide out by my brother when he was at his girlfriend house and when that didn't work out I would go to the park and stay for hours and then sneak into the house.

I didn't understand why your own family in your time of need would treat you so abhorrent.

I went to apply for Public Assistance again and this time I applied in the HIV/AIDS division. They actually listed to me and was compassionate. I was successful with not only getting Food Stamps but with Cash Assistance. You wont believe how overjoyed I was!!

My employer blocked my Department of Labor application by contesting everything I said and now It would take months before I could get an outcome. But on the upside to that, Public Assistance assigned me a Case Manager and she informed me that I need to get out from where I'm living and they will help me pay my rent.

Dark Descent

I was really sick in early January, I was even hospitalized; 5 Days in ICU and 3 Days too recuperate. I was thinking OMG this is it!!! I'm gonna die!!! But by the grace of god I didn't.

After I left the hospital I was given a sick letter to stay at home for 1 Week.

I contacted my job and informed them that I would not be coming in and the hospital forwarded the letter to my job informing them that I would not be coming in, the day before I came in I was told by my employer that I should take the rest of the month off.

I was kind of elated at this gesture, because now I have more time to myself, but I didn't know that they were planning to let me go!!

I came to work in February 1st and I only worked 2 Days for and was let go with some bullshit excuse that I did something that I know I did not do, I was always told the truth will set you free, but I guess they didn't want to hear it, they only wanted to see me gone.

I packed my stuff and left..

Jekyll & Hyde-ness

I dont have a multiple personality disorder but sometimes I think some family members posesses this trait.

I have a uncle who reminds me of the theatrics of the mel gibson tapes. When I have a conversation with him I have to remain calm and if its over the phone and he's acting bonkers then I disconnect the call. But the weired thing about him is that less than 30-minutes later we'll have a conversation and he'll act like a meltdown never occured!!

EQUALITY

Marriage

Marriage is not about religion.

Atheists marry.

Marriage is not about procreation.

The infertile marry.

Marriage is not about finance.

It can weave poverty.

Marriage is about love.

That’s it.

And that’s beautiful.

Going Blank

It seems that my spanish is getting worse by the month!!

Instead of improving its hard to put words together and remember what the words mean. I think I need a refresher course... o tal vez un chico caliente.

Should the New Year manifest into a New Me?

Change could either be welcoming or disaster.

But I'm feeling like this year should be the year about a me, taking care me...

Hope ever one has a positive resolution.

The Holidays are here

When I was a kid I would always look forward to the Christmas Holiday.

But since I was 17, I was so over it that I have no interest in it at all.

Am I the only one who feel's this way? or does most adults without kids feel the same way?

I Survived the Apocalypse

So, I was Bunker down with Gallons of water, non perishable foods & a Shortwave Radio with a built in crank, walkie talkie and flash light waiting for the armageddeon that the Mayans had for-seen hundred of years in the ago.

I thought that the world would of shake, we would of gotten a huge decrease in the magnetic field or even a pole shift. But to everyone surprise nothing dramatic has happen.

When I called my mom on December 21st, 2012 she was like: Well my Bible tell me that we will not know the Date, Time or Hour god is coming so don't believe the hype. I was like: o.k but don't forget to prepare anyway because we were not expecting Hurricane Sandy to be so violent with her after mat & we disconnected the call.

At least now I got extra food and stuff to take me into christmas and the new year...

Fresh Water. Part 1

About 3-Weeks ago I was in DC. The reason I was there was because I needed a much needed extended weekend off. So I got there around 10:30pm on a Thursday Night and couldn't sleep at all, But the next day at sunrise that's when I fell asleep for about 4-Hours.

Later that day (Friday Night) my brother came into town and my cousin and I picked him up and drove about 2-Hours to West Virginia.

Why West Virginia? It was because they have kayaking, lazy river tubing, camping and all the fresh water activities.

The hotel we stayed at was really nice, I wasn't expecting that the hotel would of been so modern because I always here about West Virginia being rual, a lot of mining, people that's not fashion conscious, Internet is rare and the locals hate change!!!

Anyway that night we decided to drive around town just to get a feel of the area and we stumbled upon a casino and a race track. None of us has ever seen horse racing before so we parked the vehicle so that we could walk our way to the Savannah/tracks/booths.

Once we opened the door a smell like none other hit us, we was like O.MG this place smells ridiculously nasty!!!! Does the horses poop on the track and the owners leave it there to turn into manure?

After 2 hours clapping and wooing with the crowd we exited and went to the casino.

I was expecting smoking to outlawed at a casino, But I guess its a West Virginia thing. As we opened the door the smell of the thick smoke hit us like a ton of bricks. It was so strong that we could of swear that we would of gotten an asthma attack within seconds...


Stay tuned for Part 2....

M.I.A

Sorry for not being able to blog for a while. Each time that I think of something I find it hard to pull out the laptop, turn it on and sign in.

More than likely I'll be posting alot as of tomorrow.

Talk to you Guys Soon.

Happy Birthday too MEE!!!!!

Don't Want to End Up Behind Bars, Part 2

I was soo angry, I took about 30 minutes to cool off.

I wanted to call him and saythat i totally lied about having AIDS and ask if I can meet him in a park and shank him.

If he said yes I would of carve out one of my online acronyms on his forehead. (Wishfully thinking.. I'm not that sadistic, however the thought did cross my mind).

So this morning I got up, made copies of all emails, text messages, phone logs etc and took it to the precinct.

The lady at the precinct said that this matter is a civil court matter and I should go to them. I informed her that i don't even know the guy's name. All I have is a email address and a telephone number. She then said that when I visit the civil court they will address me on how to move further with this.

I'm so pissed right about now because It looks like this will be an ongoing battle. Now I'm $420.00 less, have a dummy display model and my birthday is tomorrow.

Don't Want to End Up Behind Bars, Part 1

So my birthday is Wednesday so I decided to go on craigslist.org and purchase a iPad 3 seeing that apple.com and the apple store is really expensive.

After searching for about 1-Week a guy finally placed a add with a price in my range.

While other sellers were selling theirs for $450-$490.00. He had his own for $430.00 (Brand New & in Plastic), so I emailed him quickly and we set up a meeting. Because he was over 2 hours late I negotiated a $10.00 discount.

I met him outside my office and paid him $420.00 cash and did the exchange. Within 2 Minutes of him leaving he texted me and said that I am very handsome and if I'm interested in him.

I promptly responded: I HAVE AIDS.

I usually say that to guys right away because even if you say that you're not interested they still try and talk to you and get your number.

However, If they are still interested after I tell them "I HAVE AIDS" I give them a bogus number. Usually it will be the rejection line.

Sorry for going off topic so let me go back to the title of this post.

So I got home around 5pm, burst off the plastic and opened the box only to find that they took a Dummy-Display iPad 64GB unto a book surrounded by cotton balls.


TO BE CONTINUED

Focus on the Larger Picture

How can I save money when there are mind blowing sales all the time, I'm working less hours & my bills is not getting smaller. This is just rediculous.

Yeah I'm trying to focus on the bigger picture but temptation is great and living within you means is pretty hard!

Organized Cult?

You know how us Catholic guys can be; We make up for so much time a little too late. I never forgot it, confusing as it was. No fun with no guilt feelings.

The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests I'll see you next Sunday

We all had our reasons to be there at church, We all had a thing or two to learn I guess and we all needed something to cling to.

I once sang Alleluia in the choir and confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man

My brothers they never went blind for what they did but I may as well have.

In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son I had one more stupid question: Why must I pray to your saint's? Your saints aint god, and you are neither his vessel.

What I learned I rejected but I believed in it yet again. I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition? Years ago i thought If I jump in this fountain (holy water), will I be forgiven?

But the truth of the matter is we all had delusions in our head, We all had our minds made up for us so we had to believe in something so I did.

Straight for a Day

After seeing these shots of lindsey lohan I'm for some reason stragely attracted to her.

The only person two females I've ever been 1/16th-ly sexually attracted to was Grace Kelly & Selma Hayek's Breasts.

Do you hear the term Morbidly Alot?

For some reason I have such an unquenchable appetite.

Everything within sight I eat except for uncooked meats. And the worst part about it is that I feel like a balloon that is explode but I wont stop regardless!!!

The full line of Entamins seems to be my favorite.

I don't know if its a side effect of my medication but hopefully it's not something subconsciously in reference to the 1 year anniversary of my favorite aunt's death.

Regrets

About four years ago I was really into sexting.

Trading pictures, Instant Messages, Emails and posting erotic pictures to websites.

One day I came into work and I was getting a weird look. It was because a girl in my office has been shadowing my web activities. She exposed my naked pictures to the entire staff.

I was embarrassed, felt degraded and intimidated by the gawking eyes.

I removed the pictures from all the websites and didn't leave my apartment or desk until I needed to

In the end I'm just happy that it was an New York area incident and it wasn't paraded around in the enormousity as the Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian fiasco.