From Trust to MisTrust. Part 3

The opportunity to have her arrested was great. My mind said yes, my heart said yes but my conscience told me NO and that’s what I went with. I can be evil at times but I’m still a good Christian boy.

I informed the property manager to have her take what she wants excluding the items that has my name labeled on it.

One week later I went to the house to check on it, and stuff that clearly had my name labeled on it was missing. I forgave her but she took me for a fool

I was angry after what my own family did to me but I had to look at it from their angle. I think my family looked at me as an outsider who is attempting to take everything their oldest sister had. You see my deceased aunt and her sisters were close for 40 Years and then I was born so my deceased aunt took me in like I was her own child.

I knew my deceased aunt for over 25 years and her sisters knew her for over 65 years. So I guess they think they have seniority over me.

I don’t think I did anything wrong, but they have always been threatened by me because I was her favorite.

My family has always had scandals but this one was directed at me and I didn’t like how it turned out, it opened my eyes and I’ll never look at them the same.

From Trust to MisTrust. Part 2

After the carpet incident I couldn't take it any more, I called my mom and Aunt E. My mom simply said that Aunt U cannot take it with her when she's dead and don't worry about it.

When I explained what's going on to Aunt L with all these stuff disappearing (Aunt L & Aunt U are sisters)  Aunt L had a different story line, she told me how can I say such things and maybe I'm looking at it differently. Once she told me that I realised that I should just shut up and handle stuff differently.

Let me back up a little bit: Before the carpet incident I remember when I and Aunt U was at the house, Aunt U never let me out of her sight. She was always following me from room to room. I now know its because she knew I know where her deceased sister valuables are/were. So unbeknown to me I was leading her to My deceased aunt valuables.

The last time I saw Aunt U she and I had a huge falling out. It wasn't the fact that she was stealing but it was the fact that she made a comment that was very nerve wrecking to me. Her quote: "Why should you give any crystals among other things to your aunt's church?... They didn't give a dime towards the burial!!"

With that comment I proceeded to the cabinets which had crystals and china in it and started taking out crystals and put them in my moving boxes.

She walked over to me and asked:

Aunt U: Who is that for
Me: For me & my brothers
Aunt U: Why should you take these crystals?
Me: Because I want to!!
Aunt U: Well You cant have them..
Me: Is that so! (as I continued to pack)
Aunt U: You didn't hear me, I said you cant have them.
Me: Don't raise your voice at me and there is no need for you to me coming up in my face waving your finger neither.
Aunt U: What? Why are you so rude? Let me get L(Aunt L) on the phone because this is ridiculous.
Aunt U: L, your nephew is here and he's being very rude to me, I didn't know he was so rude.
Me: So you think its right for you to be raising your finger up in my face, shouting and acting erratically towards me and I shouldn't defend myself?
Aunt U: Little boy you don't know what you just did. (She stood in the corner of dining room and commenced to talk on the phone with Aunt L)
Me: (still packing)
Aunt U: (She's still on the phone talking to her sister): Oh, That's what he said about me.. (She then shouted): Who are you to judge me?
Me: (Still Packing & Ignoring her)
Aunt U: I can't believe this guy. He's here taking all the stuff!!
Me: saying to myself: (wait, wait, wait, all the things I've told Aunt L in confidence she's telling her sister? I trusted her!!! If she can do this I wonder what other information she'll divulge!!!

So two of my aunts that I love and trusted is against me now? okayyyyyyyy!!!! I'm still in disbelief that my own family members that I know most of my life are against me.

I taped up the boxes, put my name on them and left.

The next 2 days I got a call from the management office informing me that they have apprehended a woman in the apartment who claims she is my aunts sister and wants to take stuff out. The office also inform me that seeing that my aunt has passed I am now the primary person on the lease and if family members need to visit or take anything out of the apartment they will have to do so via my consent only.

It was as if the god has finally open the gates of heaven and let the blessings fall on me. I now had the option to have my aunt arrested for trespassing & larceny.

Find out what I did on Part 3 of this post. Expect it next week.

From Trust to MisTrust. Part 1

My aunt who passed sister (Lets Call Her Aunt L) and I used to talk everyday. She's the one who called me at the office and told me to be strong. Ever since her sister (Aunt E) got sick, me and Aunt L has become closer or so I thought.

I spoke to her about different situations, choices and just call her twice a day to say hello. I even told her how I felt about her other sister (Aunt U).

I know my post may seem a bit confusing but I have six aunts. I'll break it down so you guys could understand it.

• Aunt L (in NYC)
• Aunt T (in NYC)
• Aunt E (in New Jersey) Deceased
• Aunt U (in New Jersey)
• Aunt P (in Atlanta)
• Aunt J (in The Tropics)

After the funeral I was frequenting New Jersey because I had to pack stuff up and give up the apartment. Aunt L told me that each time I go to Jersey I should call Aunt U and let her know because Aunt U may be able to provide me with some assistance in regards to packaging Aunt E items.

Past History: Aunt E give me a copy of her apartment key and informed me never to give a copy to anyone. Aunt E also added my name to her lease so that if anything happens to her, I can have access to her apartment (No one in the family knows I'm on the lease beside me and my deceased aunt). She also listed me as Estate Controller of all her assets w/specific instructions on how it should be divided up.

Aunt E & Aunt U never got along much, but for the last couple of months before Aunt E passed , Aunt E was trying to make amends with her. But Aunt E still didn't trust her with certain things.

So when Aunt L told me to contact Aunt U for assistance I was baffled. Aunt L even went as far as asking me to give Aunt U a copy of my keys to Aunt E's apartment. I didn't think much of it because I said to myself Aunt E passed and all of them are sisters so who I'm I to refuse someone the comfort of helping in anyway they can.

As soon as I gave Aunt U the key's I realised that a lot of items has been disappearing from the house mysteriously. I took offense that she took jewelry and gold plated flatware from the apartment before my Aunt E's body gone into rigormortis yet!

My Aunt E was a lover of jewelery, but at the same time I don't know how many carat of diamonds she had and how many carats her rings, earrings & necklace were.

When I confronted Aunt U about it she claimed that she took the jewelery and shared it up with her sisters & nieces. I brushed it off and said to myself: Hey, I don't want it so if she gave it away to family members I don't have a problem with that. Because essentially that is what I was gonna do.

The following week I went back to the house and realised that books, personal items, picture albums & valuables were also missing. At that point I was like whoa!!!!!!!

But what really took the cake was I remember each time I visited this apartment Aunt E made me take off my shoes because she never liked me trampling her $2000.00+ dollar rug. And now even the rug is gone!
Stay tuned for Part 2. You may expect it before the end of the week.

Gone

About 30mins ago I got the call while sitting at my desk:

Ring Ring
Me: Hello
Family: I want you to be strong
Me: Why? Whats wrong?
Family: Your Aunt just passed away..
Me: Silence
Family: Are you still there?
Me: Yes I am
Family: O.K, I gotta go. I got a lot more calls to make and I'm sure my phone will be ringing off the hook all day today.
Me: O.k., bye

I leaned forward and started gazing at the computer screen, I soon felt an uncomfortable chill blow down my back then my hands started to shake uncontrollably!!! I felt like i needed to burst out with this uncontrolable rush of emotions but I couldn't.

In my line of work people see that as weakness and before long I'll be the subject at the water cooler. I put on my poker face, walked to my president's office and simply said "my aunt just passed away and I'll need to take care of some things tomorrow, I briskly walked back to my desk and now I'm looking at the clock on the wall and watching my world stand still as everything continues to move.

I'll be out of here in a couple of hours so I'll update tomorrow or Thursday.

How can I let GO

It seems that everyone I love dies. 16 Years ago my grandfather died, 9 Years ago my godmother died, 2 1/2 years ago my grand mother died and now my favorite aunt told me she's dying.

Right now she's only on pain medication to keep her comfortable. My heart is heavy with pain because not only do I know she's dying but knowing that I'll have to plan her funeral makes it even more harder. I knew it was coming but I didn't know it was going to be so soon.

I don't know which one I should do first: go to her home and pack her stuff up or plan the funeral. Her sisters are telling me pack her stuff up 1st but I cant imagine putting her stuff in boxes & containers then shoving it into storage, it will be like forgetting that she ever existed.

I was paying her bills, picking up her mail, checking on her apartment because I thought that she'll get better and come home but now the waiting game of her demise is to intense.

My aunt means the world to me, she's the one I can call when I'm having a bad day, when I cant sleep and when I just need to talk about anything.

She said to me that she doesn't want me to cry, she wants her funeral to be a celebration. But whats the use of having emotions if you cant use them?

I'm not sure if she'll make it to the end of march but what ever time I have left with her is something I'll cherish.

The Sunshine State

I was in Florida this past weekend. I arrived Saturday morning and was back in NYC by Monday night.

I never understood why I never like going there, but when I got there last weekend It actually hit me like a head on collision.

1. It's way too damn hot.
2. You need a vehicle to go everywhere. (In new york we get somewhere in minutes, were not based on hours or miles.) 
3. The tap water tastes like something died upstream and was decaying in it.
4. Most individuals believe in labels.  

Don't get me wrong, I like good stuff, expensive stuff, quality stuff but I don't spend my last dime on name brands and cant afford my rent.

There's a possibility because I visited homes in Ft. Pierce, Port St. Lucie, West Palm Beach & Miami that I may think this way but people need to get their priorities in order.
 
There's a lot of people without homes, individuals who cant afford basic health care, people who cant afford transportation to get to work to feed their family, and no parks or recreational facility in the area for kids to past their time to learn some basic skills and excel in creativity. In my opinion that's where people should be spending funds on or donating their time.

Don't even get me started on those St. Jude Children's Research Hospital advertisements..

But not everyone thinks like me, nor will 1-Person change the world so I'll just rant about it online then email a letter to my local congress representative and senator.

However, The best part about the trip was seeing a lot of trees, smelling fresh air, drinking bottle water, the food and hanging out with family.

Brother Brother you disappointed me.

Late last week my brother & I needed to go food shopping, however every time we set a date he'd flake on me.

So Sunday he called and said he cant make it and told me that he's gonna take an extended lunch break on Monday and go with me (I was off yesterday). I prefer not going to a wholesale store (BJ's) alone because 8 out of 10 times some pervert will either be heckling me or gawking at me, I don't like feeling uncomfortable.

So yesterday he called me early around 8:00am and said he'll be leaving work around 12:30pm, I said "great" and ended the call. Around 12:35pm he called me and said he got stuck at work and most likely we'll go after 6:00pm when he get off. I said OK and disconnected the call.

6:15pm I text'd him to find out where he is and he responded saying: "Sorry but I had a previous engagement and wont be able to make it." I text'd him back saying "OK".

I then got dressed and left the house, catch the bus to the mall and walked about 3 1/2-Manhattan size blocks to BJ's. I got everything I wanted and bought him two items just because he's my brother and when he comes over to visit or spend the night I don't want to have him starving.

While waiting to catch the bus back home (in the dark w/street lights) I saw a man and a woman walking across the street towards me talking loudly, giggling and swinging a Target bag in their hand. I immediately recognized that voice and was shocked to know it was my brother. I'm not one to cause a scene unless necessary; however at that particular time too emotions was running through me and I was a lost for words, nevertheless the dominant emotion I felt was betrayal.

Him and I made eye contact from 100 feet away and his face just exhumed complete surprise, I turned my face away and continued looking towards the direction of the on-coming traffic. In the background I heard him and his female companion talking & within 5-minutes they disappeared, probably they went on the bus going towards his or her home. (Just some info: The girl is his girlfriend but he never introduced me to her because he claimed that he'll be ending it with her soon and there's no need for us to meet. I know its her because her photo is on his facebook page stating that he's in a relationship with her).

Yesterday I was angry at the fact that he kept changing the date with me but was even more displeased that he couldn't be honest with me. The vision of him wearing the jacket & shoes I bought him giggling with his girl friend sent me over the edge!!! At least I was strong enough to control my emotions.

Yes I know I sound kind of bitter but the BJ's & Target are on the same block!!

Well Today I feel no animosity towards him, I still intend to give him the two items I  bought for him without prejudice.

Sorry if theres any spelling errors and sentences not making sense but I had no time to proof it here at the office.

Bitter

I think that what my aunt did was completely distasteful. She has her sister as her Health Care Administrator (Health-Care Proxy/Power of Attorney), she didn't even put me as second in command or anyhing.

I hope she knows that if her situation turns worse her sisters will pull the plug so fast that a doctor wont have time to say: she still stand a chance.

Its upsetting.

Today

Macy's supposidly had a killer sale today so I went and didn't find anything that caught my eye. In my opinion JC Penny is alot more reasonable in price.

Plus those older people wanted to push me down like it was a Black Friday Sale!

From their I went to iHop and meet up with my brother for breakfast. We had a grand meal with the bonus of unlimited pancakes. Leaving their we were so stuffed that we could of hardly walked up the stairs to the train station.

After arriving home we caught a movie on HBO on-Demand and he left soon after. Now I'm bored out of my mind with nothing to do all weekend.

Surgery Update 2

I haven't spoken to my aunt in a couple of days and it seems like she's avoiding my calls or is rather busy. Her voicemail box is full so i cant leave a message and she don't know how to view or respond to a text message.

After speaking to her sister yesterday I found out that she decided to be transferred to a nursing home to recuperate. I know you guys are probably saying that she's a young woman why will she do that, but most of my family members are over in their late 50's  & 60's. They waited until their late 30's and early 40's to have kids.

I cant deal with her being their, but she lives alone and that's the best option for her.

Surgery Update 1

I visited my aunt on saturday and was sad to see her strung up on machines. We talked and laugh for a couple of hours then we left.

Hopefully she'll make a full recovery.

After we left the hospital we ironically we went and look at tombstones, We needed to get a proper tombstone for my grandmothers grave which is not

One of my family members pointed out that the headstone to the right was the same headstone they have on my grandfathers grave over 25 Years ago. Amazing!!!

Surgery

So My aunt had surgery two days ago and I need to go visit her today.

I don't know what to expect but she's been acting erratic for the past couple of days thinking that she's gonna die.

I'll update tonight or tomorrow on what transpired.

Wish me Luck.. in fact wish her luck.

Bored to Death

Not the series on HBO but I'm more thinking towards the lines of what happens to most couples after years of being together.

One day I'm hoping to discover true love, I still have a long way to go I'm sure, but I won't like the feeling of falling out of love and being bored with someone.

As I'm getting older I realise that connections mentally, emotionally & physically are important. I will not like being with someone just be say: I am in a relationship.

Ignorance brings Fear

As a 2010 man I know how to think outside the box and believe that exposure means education, but unfortunately my family is from a different generation. I was born in the 1980's and they were born in the 1940's & early 1950's so unless there working in the the Arts or Psychology department (which they aren't)they don't expose themselves to the mindset of our generation.

I think that 70% of my family have an idea that I'm gay even though we've never discussed it but I don't want to have two coming outs. Its one thing to be gay and another thing to be gay and sick, I cant shake the feeling of being frowned upon.

Knowing how they are I don't think I'll ever tell them about my condition.

Also, here's a promising quote I like to use: From my experiences I understand that when we know better we do better!

ChildHood

I recently had a flash back to when I was a child.

I remember my grand mother used to purchase carnation evaporated milk by the truck loads, and with every can she would cut out the labels(proof of purchase) and send them to some P.O.Box and get a free Carnation CookBook.

Every weekend she enlisted me and everyone else who was in the house to partake in the preparation of every recipe she can make in a two day weekend.

I think the best recipes she made were fudge, brownies, coconut tarts & coconut drops.

I cant say that those were great days because as a child I hated having to mix stuff, and now I think that even though it was a bit hard it still prepared me as an adult to understand the basics of baking and cooking etc.

Kindred

I was once told that: "Friends are God's way of apologizing for your family" but I think that that quote is so disparing and it pierces my heart with disbelief each time I hear it.

In my opinion family should be there for/with you regardless of any outcomes and love you even though they are faced with intolerable(for lack of better words) situations.